Sing! Sing your heart out!

I used to sing. I used to write songs. I used to try to get on stage whenever I could. I used to play guitar (or make an attempt too, lol) and record already recorded songs in studios using karaoke tapes =)

My goal was to tour with Wynonna (as you can see by my shirts, Wy/Judd shirts below, are all I ever wore in the mid and late 90's) and sing with her and her mom.

From ages 14-20 I ate, drank, slept, breathed, walked, lived, sang, talked country music. It was my world, my everything. I felt it in my soul.

My mom and dad, though divorced, supported me in any way they could. Buying my guitar, guitar lessons, singing in the folk group in church on Saturday nights, a talent show here and there, buying me a karaoke machine so I can record myself, dad taking me to Wynonna concerts, going to other country music concerts (Lari White, Lorrie Morgan, Reba, Pam Tillis and others) with my friend Jillian, and much more little details.

My Sgt. Major in NJROTC in high school wrote this in my yearbook:

"Please don't give up your dream to sing."

When I got saved at the age of 20, the music and dream died. I was told that that type of music was 'worldly' and I had to love God more than the world.

So, like a good newly saved Christian, I obeyed Pastor and threw away my entire Judd collection of everything I had (mostly my 25 shirts, CD's VHS tapes, cassette tapes) and anything else country, sold my guitar, and began focusing on how I could be the best wife and Christian that would please God.

I hadn't given country music another thought after that.

My mom had alot more of my Judd collection at her house, scrapbooks, things like that, but they got destroyed in Hurricane Charley in 2005. =( I worked so hard on those things too...

Over the past 10 years, I've never thought to begin singing again. In my mind I was going to join an even more conservative church (Mennonite), then that which I got saved in (Pentecostal Holiness) that frowned on instrumental music and music of the 'world'.

On a whim back in May of this year I decided for the heck of it to check out Wynonna's website and see how she and momma were doing (I'm such a wretched sinner, I know. I wasn't even supposed to be on the Internet..another church rule) and I looked over at the tour dates and seen they were coming to Oklahoma in August. Mind you I hadn't listened to anything Judd in 10 years. I had no idea how many new albums she had out, or anything.

But when I seen her and Momma were going to be so close to where I live, I clicked on the 'buy tickets' button and bought my ticket before they were all sold out without even giving it another thought.

I HAD to go see them. I had never seen them before in concert. I have only seen Wy solo in concert.

The concert was 3 days ago, and I felt it. What is it you ask? That spark. That little charge of electricity that floods your body. That fire burning inside you. The way I felt when my dream was to sing, to play guitar, etc. I felt the thrill from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes.

I carry this guilt around from listening to these religious men all these years tell me 'this' was sinful or 'that' is worldly or 'that' is disapproval in God's eyes, or 'you don't want to go to hell, do you for listening to this?'

I gave up something very precious to me because I believed these 'men of God' and who was I too question them?

Of course I do know that instruments are NOT forbidden in the Bible.

I feel like so much time has been lost (and it has) as to where I could have learned and grown (and probably could have met Wy and Naomi a few times along the way).

When finances get better next month (summer months always suck financially for us), I will be purchasing an acoustic guitar and found a place that offers lessons and also vocal lessons. I think though I will be taking guitar lessons first because I don't remember anything I learned from the 90's, I really don't. I need to start from the very beginning again.

Once I get the basics mastered, then I will pursue vocal lessons.

I've been dancing and singing around the house and car singing Judd tunes and I've still got it. I can still carry a tune, but I really need some work.. =)

Some pictures from my past:

I had red hair in this picture...cool, I don't even remember doing it way back when. =)

Since the concert, I have been trying to catch up on all the Judd news and albums I have missed. So much wonderful, beautiful music!

There is this one song she sings called 'Sing'. I will post a video and the lyrics. The 1st time I heard it a few days ago, I got goosebumps and I felt it.

Its in the wind

Noise and steam

‘neath your skin

And in your dream

It’s who you are

It’s how you feel

A guiding star

Your driving wheel

Chorus:Sing(Let it take you Let it make you Never break you down)

Sing(Let it mold you Let it make you bold And never hold you down)

Sing, Sing, your heart out

Its on the street

The neon glare

The hard concrete

The cold night air

Its in your voice

The way you sound

Have no choice

But come unwound

Chorus:Sing(Your songs of truth and painAll the things you can’t explain)

Sing(The way you feel insideLet the music be your guide)

Sing, your heart out

Sing it like you hear it

Like you have no need to fear it now

Sing it like you know it

Like you’re not afraid to show us how

Sing from somewhere way down deep

Sing and make the angels weep

Sing and open heaven’s doorSing ‘til you can’t sing no more

Sing(Your songs of dark and lightMake your mark with all your might)Sing(Your songs of hope and fear

Sing the song that sent you hear)

Sing, your heart out

Sing,Sing,Sing, your heart outSing.Sing, your heart out.

~~ Dawn